An old story I had actually laying around, that I determined to publish after ~ hexernano"s post in the subreddit. Usually a story based turn off the prompt, "What if Harry was a jaded, god-tier gift that only got involved when someone kicked increase his lawn." short story. No the cleanest work. Feedback always welcome!
Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,356 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 4/21 - Published: 4/18 - Status: finish - id: 13557251
Authors note at the Bottom
Harry hadn"t really intended to wander right into the stare down that he had. In the Avengers headquarters, Captain, Natasha, and also War maker were staring down a blonde haired woman who appeared to thrum through power.
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"Whose blondie?" bother says, making himself known and then immediately transforming to the fridge. The Avengers all revolve with a spooked startle. "When the hell walk you acquire here?" Rhodey is the very first to ask. "Literally just now," harry replies currently looking v the fridge. Captain turns and looks a little bit confused, "How come we didn"t hear the according to bang prefer last time?"
Harry shrugs, "Didn"t want to wake the community this time. Five sweet, you males have good stuff." bother turns and is holding a container that clearly has "Fury"s Food" on it. That turns and sees the blonde woman giving him a glare. He frowns and also then put Fury"s food earlier in the fridge. "Happy?" the asks the blonde woman, who just returns through a beaming smile. "By the means who are you?" Harry ultimately asks.
"Shouldn"t i be asking you that?," she replies, stepping forward and also coming confront to challenge with him. "Come native space? friend smell prefer it," Harry claims with a snide tone. "Charm all the ladies like that?" she snipes back. Harry slowly grows a smile, "You recognize where Thanos is?" She gives him a smile in return, "Have a pretty great idea."
He transforms to the rest of the Avengers, "We"re gonna go uncover Thanos and also get this sorted out. Sit still, look at pretty."
"Whoa, whoa, host on there, we"re coming v you," Captain America says, all the various other Avengers nod in addition to this sentiment.
"Didn"t friend all simply lose to him and get half the universe killed?" harry remarks back. Everyone appears to offer him a frown on the one. "Alright poor comment, yet I"m not wrong," Harry follows up. Thor renders his entrance at this point, "We worthy a second chance. We all must consist of for our failures." Harry seems to sigh in ~ this and rub his brow. He transforms to the blonde woman next to him who provides him a look. "Fine, get yourselves together," take care of relents. The Avengers scramble to acquire themselves together.
"I"m bother by the way," that says, when he and also the blonde mrs watch the scramble. "Carol Danvers, but the location is Captain Marvel. Friend didn"t obtain a cool title?" she comments back, neither turning from their watch over the chaos. "Master the Death," harry replies back. "Edgy, no outgrow her emo phase?" She offers with the lightest clues of mirth. "United three magical relics the Death and also became immortal with control over fatality itself," that replies back, dryly. Carol offers an impressed bounce and sway the the head, "I just gained zapped through a monster energy." Harry provides a smirk at that one.
"Alright we"re ready to go," Captain America announces. "Can friend fly?" bother asks Carol come which she replies v an incredulous look as if he dared asking that. "Okay then, she and I will fly and also lead the way. Y"all follow behind in the ship out front," take care of says and also then he and also Carol begin to make for the door. Behind him, Rocket quiet asks the group, "So do we wait because that him to die in the vacuum that space? since that"s what I"m planning on doing." A murmur follows before Rhodey says, "He is type of one asshole." also Cap needs to let a smile go at that one.
The smirks room non-existent some time later on as Harry paris through an are behind Captain Marvel. A Bubble-Head Charm is the only protection versus the vacuum that space. Fine it would certainly be if take care of hadn"t invested a solid minutes spelled that on and also off and then feigned suffocation at the vacuum that space. The Avengers within the delivery had quickly realized that not only was the an immortal asshole, but also one who was rapid to run a joke right into the ground.
For all his life, Thanos had actually dreamed the this day. The work he can wake up and know his deed to be done. The balance was revived and sentient life could flourish when again. The unavoidable realized. Through a sigh, he proceeds up the small dirt roadway to his humble, serene hut.
When the feels the unusual warm pricking at this head and neck, he transforms his head increase to spy a large storm cloud that fire spewing angry draconic lances down towards him. The is far too so late to do anything as the fiery lances immolate him and also everything approximately him. By the time the siege the fire is over, Thanos is carried to his knees and also gasping for breath. Spanned with singes, he lifts his head just to watch the cocky grin the a black color haired man descending down v the air. He raises his hand only to be blasted backwards into the remnants of his hut by a beam the light. He musters his strength only to it is in hit by a bolt that red light that immediately knocks that cold.
By the time Thanos rises again, Harry has bewitched part chains that tie him to the ground and the rest of the Avengers have captured up to Carol and him.
"I see you lugged some new faces this time," Thanos allows slip in a weary, deep voice. "Well yeah, we had actually to bring in the A team after girlfriend whipped the rookies around," bother replies indigenous his meanderings v the damages of the hut. He is just met through glares indigenous the Avengers who space towering approximately Thanos.
"Master of Death, what brings you come me?" Thanos climate asks, a surprising tone of reverence in his voice. A short-term silence floods over the room together the Avengers it seems ~ shocked that Thanos to know of Harry. Harry appears to have picked up a strange extraterrestrial fruit and also taken a bite out of it before asking earlier with a complete mouth, "Oh you recognize me?"
Thanos bring away a long difficult look in ~ Harry prior to taking a breath, "A lifetime ago, i sought to come to be one through Lady fatality to accomplish my goals. I sought to it is in what girlfriend are. The Stones were a backup to failed attempts." In the quiet that complies with each Avenger present seems to collectively process and realize that if the Stones to be a backup, climate Harry might it is in on par v the power of the Stones.
"Well suck to suck, i guess. Should have been born top top Earth," bother replies v some annoyingly loud chewing that the fruit. "So let me guess: v you snap the Stones out of visibility in bespeak to protect against anyone native undoing your mess?" harry says. Thanos provides a defiant grin and also Harry shrugs, "The way move. Earned yourself a funny tattoo from that. Well before I melted off half your skin," take care of replies and also then gives a difficult poke straight into the burned and charred skin that covers most of the Titan"s body. Thanos offers a grunt of pain, "It to be inevitable." Harry it s okay up and announces to the Avengers, "Well Stones room gone then."
A tide of shocked and also horrified encounters that slowly shift to panic fill the room. V everyone facing the horrifying facts of a universe they could never restore, Thor bring away his axe and attempts a enormous swing that it towards Thanos neck. He is only stopped by an unusual, mystical force seizing up his body and also stopping the blade nanometers short of piercing. "Let"s organize the executions till after I fix this chaos you all made," harry says, letting Thor totally free from his paralysis. "Did you no hear the madman? The Stones are gone!" Thor yells at Harry, "We would must travel v time chin to get them back!" some brains start to churn at the idea together Thor rages, but Harry laughs. In fact, it"s a lengthy and nearly cruel laugh that pipeline everyone staring at him. "Imagine having to use Stones to carry out stuff prefer this," harry says, wiping a tear from his eye. Only the most astute the Avenger" eyes, Natasha, notification that Thanos has begun to sweat in fear.
Harry transforms to Carol, "Let"s see, more than likely gonna need like at least a white dwarf because that this one. Anyones roughly here?" Carol cocks her head to the side, "There"s one a couple of irradiate years away, barren mechanism as well." harry smiles wide, "Oh this is gonna make it therefore much quicker than, I might be residence for supper." that then transforms to the Avengers, "Stay here and make sure he doesn"t move anywhere." with a quiet bang, Harry and Carol then disappear.
A loud bang sends the Avengers scattering from their lackadaisical stupor. Harry has actually arrived and also is skipping towards them, a mortified Carol complies with behind. "Give me a moooooment," take care of sings has actually he skips right past them. The Avengers leaving their conversations or eating and also all crowd roughly Carol.
"He devoured a fucking star," Carol says as if quiet in shock. "I"m sorry, that what?" Captain states in disbelief.
"Well that teleported united state into room and then had me guide him come the white dwarf i was talking about," Carol says. "Then he turned me to and said, "This is something I"ve constantly wanted come try."" The Avengers nod along and Carol continues, "So we space floating roughly the star and also he"s bitching come me about how he generally doesn"t obtain to execute it favor this and that he"s always wanted to execute it this way since he observed snakes at the zoo and also the new Star Wars." Carol seems to finally procedure what has actually just taken place to her and then announces, "He claimed this would significantly speed it all up...Oh my god, i think he"s done this before."
"Done what?" a puzzled Natasha asks.
"Well that," Carol says pointing come Harry that is stand in an opening before them. Take care of raises his wand and then that washes end them. A pulse of power washes end them. An power that one can only describe as primal, astronomically primal. Feel of death, life, and also all the is in between flood v the Avengers body in an endure that feels favor it lasts millennia however is only seconds. It is indescribable, something the is wholly inhuman. And it radiates out and also washes over the whole of the world from your idyllic epicenter.
"Oh my god, walk we simply die?" Rocket gasps out after the experience. Everyone"s complaints room stopped when they watch the dust in the air begin to law strangely. The dust seems to start coalescing into human shapes prior to they burst out in a puff. Left before them room Nick Fury and Agent Hill. Fury and Hill seem to take it a moment to feel themselves being lively again. Carol is the first to walk up to Fury, "So what was death like?" Fury gives her a watch of surprise and also shock an initial before adopting a much more typical tone, "Not anything i would prefer to execute again. I have you to thank." Carol shakes she head and adopts a much more pensive look before pointing in ~ Harry.
All there absorbs Harry that is now surrounded through a tiny boy, a smaller sized blonde woman, and also Hermione. "Wow Uncle Harry, we"re on a various planet!" the small boy excitedly shouts to run around, "This time to be the coolest one!" Harry appears to smile, "Well want to guess: v what i did this time Teddy? ns made my mouth unhinged choose a snake and also swallowed up a entirety star!" Teddy appears to cackle and also roll top top the floor through laughter. Hermione smacks Harry, "You go what? That"s simply gross!" The blonde woman offers an almost surreal smile at Harry, "What walk the star taste like?" harry thinks for a moment, "Like a many hot, Luna. Oh, thanks for the calculations friend did by the way, the was yes, really clutch the you could do that before dying." The blond mrs Luna smiles, "Well I just figured it would be ideal to obtain this excellent as conveniently as possible. I have a pilgrimage to the Amazon planned because that this weekend."
"Oh that will certainly be fun! are you taking Scamander?" Hermione asks her. The 3 adults break into a fairly normal conversation together if none of them were just dead or flying v space. Carol division from the stunned Avengers and steps forward and approaches them, "This has actually happened prior to hasn"t it?" The three magical adults avoid their conversation and Hermione thinks a moment, "Never choose this before. The whole alien planet and also aliens point is new." Luna clarifies, "I think she intended the whole being brought ago from the dead thing."
"Oh yeah! It"s a bit uncomfortable the first pair of times, yet you gain used come it," Hermione says. "Yeah! It"s fun! Remember as soon as the demons invaded?" Teddy says. Every eyes seem shocked at the word demons. "Oh yes, the was fun. Wasn"t the Teddy?" bother says before Hermione smacks harry hard. "Need i remind you i was torn apart through demons the time, that was fairly painful," Hermione scolds. Harry provides a look at of submission and also sorry.
Fury appears to questioning what is top top all their minds, "Things like this have happened before? on Earth?" Luna nods, "Most the the magical neighborhood is provided to stuff choose this in ~ this point. Harry offered to be so lot slower about this kind of stuff." harry rolls his eyes, "Well I offered to not gain paid or compensated for it."
"I-I just…," Fury says trailing off just to be interrupted by Hermione, "What? that is the understand of Death, technically none of us have actually to ever before die. Well we all made him swear that he would certainly let united state pass naturally when our time comes. Yet I digress, this people is a horrifyingly attention place. That"s why we let Harry be Harry." rage is around to offer protest prior to Luna cut him off, "Harry is take care of so us never need to worry about Harry no being Harry."
The Avengers in ~ this allude have pass the point of disbelief. Shock, sighs, dissonance, and also everything else pipeline the Avengers mentally reeling. "Well i knew you were pretty crazy the first I met you," Carol claims stepping forward. She passes Harry a pager, "In instance I ever before need part magic." take care of raises his eyebrows and also has a smirk, "Oh, favor a booty call?" Carol offers him a laugh for a moment before a jet of energy knocks harry over and also causes him to tumble a surprising amount of meters back. "Ass," is all she claims before turning and launching herself right into the air towards space and home. Teddy is as soon as again laughing if Hermione is scolding Harry, "I told you to watch her mouth approximately people!" bother is acquiring himself up, "Yeah, yeah."
At this allude Fury procedures forward with the Avengers in ~ his heels, "You understand we can use who of your talents in a more...full time position." Hermione and Luna sigh in ~ this point. Harry slowly creates a devious smirk and also it dawns conveniently on the Avengers this is not the time for the pitch. Harry raises his hand and snaps his fingers.
All the SHIELD staff and Avengers cower in are afraid for a moment before they open their eyes and realize they see nothing in front of them. "Now we have to take the long method home," Rhodey sighs. Fury turns to the rest of them, "We never got our answer. He might-". Fury stops talking together he look at Captain America pointing towards the sky. The nearby stars have actually now been arranged come brightly spell out in the night sky, "GET BENT."
"Oh look at what he did v Thanos!" Rocket claims with a laugh. Lock all revolve to view that Thanos has actually been rotate into heavily burned and charred violet stone, finish with eyes and mouth that are currently sobbing. A deep sigh fills the Avengers understanding at your predicament"s solution, brand-new understanding of reality, and tiresome previous twenty 4 hours. However Captain America sums it up best.
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"God what an asshole."
Hey hope you all gain this! This is the last chapter the this little story. Ns hope ns don"t disappointed too many of you through these words, but I do have some reasons:1) This to be a supervisor old story ns resurrected top top my tough drive (I composed the first part nearly 2 years ago at this point) . I"ve changed around how i feel around these types of characters (as some of the reviewers detailed in the tonal dissonance/character shifts), which made going about revising this old story super difficult. It almost made me want to full rewrite.
2) This story was constantly meant to be a brief fun compose after I saw Infinity battle for the very first time.3) ns don"t really have much attention in this details story anymore and also my attention was slowly turning a little crackish in the direction of the end. To it is in honest, I greatly wrote a second part because I want to provide all you readers just a bit more. So thank you for the encouragement!
This is the very first story I"ve post in perhaps 10 year at this point? first story ~ above this account anyways. I always wanted to do a fic favor this and I"m happy i did. But there room alot of problems with fics favor this (insane power makes it hard to write lengthy stories there is no absurd strength scaling/inflation). But I do like fics choose this.To be honest, I arrangement to begin writing again many thanks to this rush and also your encouragement. However it won"t be because that this story specifically. I will certainly most most likely take part time to think/majorly revisit part old ideas I had around what sort of fics I want to perform in the future. I can"t promise you"ll gain any an ext Godlike Harry"s however I perform love solid Harry or twists on it. Anyways, give thanks to you all for the feedback and also encouragement! If friend all would let me know if girlfriend would favor to watch some much more in universe occupational or what crossovers girlfriend would like to see, the would assist get my reasoning juices going. If noþeles I"ve stated sparks her fancy, please follow follow me or message me if you desire to talk about ideas.Cheers,ladrlee