An old story I had laying around, that I decided to publish after hexernano"s post in the subreddit. Basically a story based off the prompt, "What if Harry was a jaded, god-tier being that only got involved when someone kicked up his lawn." Short story. Not the cleanest work. Feedback always welcome!
Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,356 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 4/21 - Published: 4/18 - Status: Complete - id: 13557251
Authors Note at the Bottom
Harry hadn"t really expected to wander into the stare down that he had. In the Avengers headquarters, Captain, Natasha, and War Machine were staring down a blonde haired woman who seemed to thrum with power.
You are watching: Harry potter fanfiction immortal master of death
"Whose blondie?" Harry says, making himself known and then immediately turning to the fridge. The Avengers all turn with a spooked startle. "When the hell did you get here?" Rhodey is the first to ask. "Literally just now," Harry replies now looking through the fridge. Captain turns and looks a bit confused, "How come we didn"t hear the loud bang like last time?"
Harry shrugs, "Didn"t want to wake the neighborhood this time. Oh sweet, you guys have good stuff." Harry turns and is holding a container that clearly has "Fury"s Food" on it. He turns and sees the blonde woman giving him a glare. He frowns and then puts Fury"s food back in the fridge. "Happy?" he asks the blonde woman, who just returns with a beaming smile. "By the way who are you?" Harry finally asks.
"Shouldn"t I be asking you that?," she replies, stepping forward and coming face to face with him. "Come from space? You smell like it," Harry says with a snide tone. "Charm all the ladies like that?" she snipes back. Harry slowly grows a smile, "You know where Thanos is?" She gives him a smile in return, "Have a pretty good idea."
He turns to the rest of the Avengers, "We"re gonna go find Thanos and get this sorted out. Sit still, look pretty."
"Whoa, whoa, hold on there, we"re coming with you," Captain America says, all the other Avengers nod along with this sentiment.
"Didn"t you all just lose to him and get half the universe killed?" Harry remarks back. Everyone seems to give him a frown on that one. "Alright poor comment, but I"m not wrong," Harry follows up. Thor makes his entrance at this point, "We deserve a second chance. We all must make up for our failures." Harry seems to sigh at this and rub his brow. He turns to the blonde woman beside him who gives him a look. "Fine, get yourselves together," Harry relents. The Avengers scramble to get themselves together.
"I"m Harry by the way," he says, while he and the blonde woman watch the scramble. "Carol Danvers, but the title is Captain Marvel. You didn"t get a cool title?" she comments back, neither turning from their watch over the chaos. "Master of Death," Harry replies back. "Edgy, not outgrow your emo phase?" She offers with the lightest hints of mirth. "United three magical relics of Death and became immortal with control over death itself," he replies back, dryly. Carol gives an impressed bounce and sway of the head, "I just got zapped by a weird energy." Harry gives a smirk at that one.
"Alright we"re ready to go," Captain America announces. "Can you fly?" Harry asks Carol to which she replies with an incredulous look as if he dared ask that. "Okay then, she and I will fly and lead the way. Y"all follow behind in that ship out front," Harry says and then he and Carol start to make for the door. Behind him, Rocket quietly asks the group, "So do we wait for him to die in the vacuum of space? Because that"s what I"m planning on doing." A murmur follows before Rhodey says, "He is kind of an asshole." Even Cap has to let a smile go at that one.
The smirks are non-existent some time later as Harry flies through space behind Captain Marvel. A Bubble-Head Charm is the only protection against the vacuum of space. Well it would be if Harry hadn"t spent a solid minutes spelled it on and off and then feigned suffocation at the vacuum of space. The Avengers inside the ship had quickly realized that not only was he an immortal asshole, but also one who was quick to run a joke into the ground.
For all his life, Thanos had dreamed of this day. The day he could wake up and know his deed was done. That balance was restored and sentient life could flourish once again. The inevitable realized. With a sigh, he continues up the small dirt road to his humble, peaceful hut.
When he feels the unusual heat pricking at this head and neck, he turns his head upward to spy a huge storm cloud of fire spewing angry draconic lances down towards him. He is far too late to do anything as the fiery lances immolate him and everything around him. By the time the siege of fire is over, Thanos is brought to his knees and gasping for breath. Covered with singes, he lifts his head only to see the cocky grin of a black haired man descending down through the air. He raises his hand only to be blasted backwards into the remnants of his hut by a beam of light. He musters his strength only to be hit by a bolt of red light that immediately knocks him cold.
By the time Thanos rises again, Harry has bewitched some chains that bind him to the ground and the rest of the Avengers have caught up to Carol and him.
"I see you brought some new faces this time," Thanos lets slip in a weary, deep voice. "Well yeah, we had to bring in the A team after you whipped the rookies around," Harry replies from his meanderings through the ruins of the hut. He is only met with glares from the Avengers who are towering around Thanos.
"Master of Death, what brings you to me?" Thanos then asks, a surprising tone of reverence in his voice. A momentary silence floods over the room as the Avengers seem shocked that Thanos knows of Harry. Harry seems to have picked up a strange alien fruit and taken a bite out of it before asking back with a full mouth, "Oh you recognize me?"
Thanos takes a long hard look at Harry before taking a breath, "A lifetime ago, I sought to become one with Lady Death to accomplish my goals. I sought to be what you are. The Stones were a backup to failed attempts." In the silence that follows each Avenger present seems to collectively process and realize that if the Stones were a backup, then Harry might be on par with the power of the Stones.
"Well sucks to suck, I guess. Should have been born on Earth," Harry replies with some annoyingly loud chewing of the fruit. "So let me guess you snapped the Stones out of existence in order to prevent anyone from undoing your mess?" Harry says. Thanos gives a defiant grin and Harry shrugs, "The wise move. Earned yourself a fun tattoo from that. Well before I burned off half your skin," Harry replies and then gives a hard poke straight into the burned and charred skin that covers most of the Titan"s body. Thanos gives a grunt of pain, "It was inevitable." Harry gets up and announces to the Avengers, "Well Stones are gone then."
A wave of shocked and horrified faces that slowly transition to panic fill the room. With everyone facing the horrifying facts of a universe they could never restore, Thor takes his axe and attempts a massive swing of it towards Thanos neck. He is only stopped by an unusual, mystical force seizing up his body and stopping the blade nanometers short of piercing. "Let"s hold the executions till after I fix this mess you all made," Harry says, letting Thor free from his paralysis. "Did you not hear the madman? The Stones are gone!" Thor yells at Harry, "We would need to travel through time itself to get them back!" Some brains start to churn at that idea as Thor rages, but Harry laughs. In fact, it"s a long and almost cruel laugh that leaves everyone staring at him. "Imagine having to use Stones to do stuff like this," Harry says, wiping a tear from his eye. Only the most astute of Avenger" eyes, Natasha, notice that Thanos has begun to sweat in fear.
Harry turns to Carol, "Let"s see, probably gonna need like at least a white dwarf for this one. Anyones around here?" Carol cocks her head to the side, "There"s one a couple of light years away, barren system as well." Harry smiles wide, "Oh this is gonna make it so much faster than, I might be home for supper." He then turns to the Avengers, "Stay here and make sure he doesn"t move anywhere." With a quiet bang, Harry and Carol then disappear.
A loud bang sends the Avengers scattering from their lackadaisical stupor. Harry has arrived and is skipping towards them, a mortified Carol follows behind. "Give me a moooooment," Harry sings has he skips right past them. The Avengers leave their conversations or eating and all crowd around Carol.
"He devoured a fucking star," Carol says as if still in shock. "I"m sorry, he what?" Captain says in disbelief.
"Well he teleported us into space and then had me guide him to the white dwarf I was talking about," Carol says. "Then he turned me to and said, "This is something I"ve always wanted to try."" The Avengers nod along and Carol continues, "So we are floating around the star and he"s bitching to me about how he usually doesn"t get to do it like this and that he"s always wanted to do it this way since he saw snakes at the zoo and the new Star Wars." Carol seems to finally process what has just happened to her and then announces, "He said this would greatly speed it all up...Oh my god, I think he"s done this before."
"Done what?" a confused Natasha asks.
"Well that," Carol says pointing to Harry who is standing in an opening before them. Harry raises his wand and then it washes over them. A pulse of energy washes over them. An energy that one can only describe as primal, astronomically primal. Feelings of death, life, and all that is in between flood through the Avengers bodies in an experience that feels like it lasts millennia but is only seconds. It is indescribable, something that is wholly inhuman. And it radiates out and washes over the entirety of the universe from their idyllic epicenter.
"Oh my god, did we just die?" Rocket gasps out after the experience. Everyone"s complaints are stopped when they watch the dust in the air start to behave strangely. The dust seems to start coalescing into human shapes before they burst out in a puff. Left before them are Nick Fury and Agent Hill. Fury and Hill seem to take a moment to feel themselves being alive again. Carol is the first to walk up to Fury, "So what was death like?" Fury gives her a look of surprise and shock first before adopting a more typical tone, "Not anything I would like to do again. I have you to thank." Carol shakes her head and adopts a more pensive look before pointing at Harry.
All there takes in Harry who is now surrounded by a small boy, a smaller blonde woman, and Hermione. "Wow Uncle Harry, we"re on a different planet!" the small boy excitedly shouts running around, "This time was the coolest one!" Harry seems to smile, "Well want to guess what I did this time Teddy? I made my mouth unhinged like a snake and swallowed up a whole star!" Teddy seems to cackle and roll on the floor with laughter. Hermione smacks Harry, "You did what? That"s just gross!" The blonde woman gives an almost surreal smile at Harry, "What did the star taste like?" Harry thinks for a moment, "Like a lot of hot, Luna. Oh, thanks for the calculations you did by the way, it was really clutch that you could do that before dying." The blond woman Luna smiles, "Well I just figured it would be best to get this done as quickly as possible. I have a trip to the Amazon planned for this weekend."
"Oh that will be fun! Are you taking Scamander?" Hermione asks her. The three adults break into a rather normal conversation as if none of them were just dead or flying through space. Carol breaks from the stunned Avengers and steps forward and approaches them, "This has happened before hasn"t it?" The three magical adults stop their conversation and Hermione thinks a moment, "Never like this before. The whole alien planet and aliens thing is new." Luna clarifies, "I think she meant the whole being brought back from the dead thing."
"Oh yeah! It"s a bit uncomfortable the first couple of times, but you get used to it," Hermione says. "Yeah! It"s fun! Remember when the demons invaded?" Teddy says. All eyes seem shocked at the word demons. "Oh yes, that was fun. Wasn"t it Teddy?" Harry says before Hermione smacks Harry hard. "Need I remind you I was torn apart by demons that time, that was quite painful," Hermione scolds. Harry offers a look of submission and sorry.
Fury seems to ask what is on all their minds, "Things like this have happened before? On Earth?" Luna nods, "Most of the magical community is used to stuff like this at this point. Harry used to be so much slower about this kind of stuff." Harry rolls his eyes, "Well I used to not get paid or compensated for it."
"I-I just…," Fury says trailing off only to be interrupted by Hermione, "What? He is the Master of Death, technically none of us have to ever die. Well we all made him swear that he would let us pass naturally when our time comes. But I digress, this world is a horrifyingly dangerous place. That"s why we let Harry be Harry." Fury is about to offer protest before Luna cuts him off, "Harry is Harry so we never have to worry about Harry not being Harry."
The Avengers at this point have passed the point of disbelief. Shock, sighs, dissonance, and everything else leaves the Avengers mentally reeling. "Well I knew you were pretty crazy the first I met you," Carol says stepping forward. She passes Harry a pager, "In case I ever need some magic." Harry raises his eyebrows and has a smirk, "Oh, like a booty call?" Carol gives him a smile for a moment before a jet of energy knocks Harry over and causes him to tumble a surprising amount of meters back. "Ass," is all she says before turning and launching herself into the air towards space and home. Teddy is once again laughing while Hermione is scolding Harry, "I told you to watch your mouth around people!" Harry is getting himself up, "Yeah, yeah."
At this point Fury steps forward with the Avengers at his heels, "You know we could use someone of your talents in a more...full time position." Hermione and Luna sigh at this point. Harry slowly forms a devious smirk and it dawns quickly on the Avengers this is not the time for the pitch. Harry raises his hand and snaps his fingers.
All the SHIELD staff and Avengers cower in fear for a moment before they open their eyes and realize they see nothing in front of them. "Now we have to take the long way home," Rhodey sighs. Fury turns to the rest of them, "We never got our answer. He might-". Fury stops talking as he sees Captain America pointing towards the sky. The nearby stars have now been arranged to brightly spell out in the night sky, "GET BENT."
"Oh look what he did with Thanos!" Rocket says with a laugh. They all turn to see that Thanos has been turned into heavily burned and charred purple stone, complete with eyes and mouth that are currently sobbing. A deep sigh fills the Avengers hearts at their predicament"s solution, new understanding of reality, and tiresome past twenty four hours. But Captain America sums it up best.
See more: Coming Of Age In Mississippi Quotes, Coming Of Age In Mississippi Important Quotes
"God what an asshole."
Hey hoped you all enjoy this! This is the final chapter of this little story. I hope I don"t disappoint too many of you with these words, but I do have some reasons:1) This was a super old story I resurrected on my hard drive (I wrote the first part almost 2 years ago at this point) . I"ve changed about how I feel about these types of characters (as some of the reviewers noted in the tonal dissonance/character shifts), which made going about revising this old story super difficult. It almost made me want to full rewrite.
2) This story was always meant to be a short fun write after I saw Infinity War for the first time.3) I don"t really have much interest in this particular story anymore and my interest was slowly turning a bit crackish towards the end. To be honest, I mostly wrote a second part because I wanted to give all you readers just a bit more. So thank you for the encouragement!
This is the first story I"ve posted in maybe 10 years at this point? First story on this account anyways. I always wanted to do a fic like this and I"m happy I did. But there are alot of issues with fics like this (insane power makes it hard to write long stories without absurd power scaling/inflation). But I do like fics like this.To be honest, I plan to start writing again thanks to this rush and your encouragement. But it won"t be for this story specifically. I will most likely take some time to think/majorly revisit some old ideas I had about what kind of fics I want to do in the future. I can"t promise you"ll get any more Godlike Harry"s but I do love Strong Harry or twists on it. Anyways, thank you all for the feedback and encouragement! If you all would let me know if you would like to see some more in universe work or what crossovers you would like to see, it would help get my thinking juices going. If anything I"ve said sparks your fancy, please follow along or message me if you want to talk about ideas.Cheers,ladrlee